Friday, October 5, 2012

The Truth About Parenting

I'd like to address a pet peeve of mine. Women who talk about parenting like it's the most natural, easiest, wonderful job in the world and every woman should do it.

Many would like you to believe that parenting is the most wonderful job a woman can ever have or that a woman's natural instincts make it easier. Well, maybe in la la land this is true and for women who's ideal job is working for needy person who on occasion yells, screams, and say they hate you. Oh, did I mention the pay and benefits? Well ... there is none. Nada. And if you want a day off, guess what? You have to pay someone else to cover for you.

Yes, there are many wonderful moments that a child can give you. If you are lucky to have a child who is naturally easy going then you will have many more with little effort. On the other hand with children with difficult personalities and strong wills; these moments will be a bit less until you get a hang of it and become a parenting pro.

Still, all the screams, tantrums, messes, and yelling they don't like you . . . oh yes, it will happen and it will hurt you more than anything else. But those smiles, laughs, kisses, I love yous, and cuddles make it all worth it. But still, you will have more days where you collapse on the bed exhausted.

So ladies, please! Don't fall into the trap of needing to explain how wonderful having children is to those with out kids. I know that there is tremendous pressure to look like the the perfect mommy but by not tell the hard ugly truth, we are doing a disservice to other women.

Instead, give them a reality check. They are expensive from before the time they're born to after they graduate high school. A good nights sleep will be a thing of the past and by the time that do start sleeping through the night they'll be waking up early to start school.

They are messy! And I don't mean college dorm room messy. I mean poop on the walls messy (if you're lucky their fascination with poop will be short).

Every heard of the terrible twos? Well it actually doesn't stop there. Studies have actually show that you can predict how a kid will be as a teenager by how they acted when they were two years old. Wonderful, right?

And privacy ... you'll eventually forget what even means.

So please ladies, the next time a women with no kids asks what it's like having kids . . . tell the truth. Because there is nothing easy about being a mother. It takes blood, sweat, and tears from start to finish; but in the end you can sit back and look at the amazing person created out of it all and know that they are truly a part of you and the love they have for you truly unquestionable.

Let's face it, it takes a strong woman to be a good mother and if you can't handle the worst of it, you'll never truly be able to enjoy the very best that comes from being a mother.

Sorry for this little rant but I just don't like it when some women act like having a kid is a cure all for anything and you are not complete with out one. No one likes to say it but some women should not have children. My own mother was one and I suffered greatly from it, I still am. I am glad that I am alive but considering how suicidal I used to be as a child because of my mother, it is rather surprising that I am actually still alive.

With so much poverty and child abuse going on we should be encouraging women to think twice about bringing a life into the world and encourage the use of birth control. Not every women is meant to be a mother just because she has a vagina. I'm all for family planning. Things such as the Plan B and The Pill should be widely accepted. It lowers the need for abortions and teen pregnancies.  It helps couples make sure that their ready. It helps women take control of their own life!

I know you ladies and gentlemen all love your kids, but be honest when someone asks about parenting. It's hard! And give them a question back too, 'Are you sure you're ready?'

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