Yesterday I really looked at my oldest daughter. I mean really looked. And what I saw was a long legged kid with a high pony tail and a thin face. All I could think was Is this really MY kid? When did this happen? Where was I? OMG I'm old!
To make matters worse she is starting 1st grade. At least when she was in kindergarten I fooled myself into thinking that it's not 'official' grade school since it doesn't have a number on it. (I was in severe denial)
My baby, my toddler, my preschooler is gone and all I have are pictures to remember her by. In replacement I have been given a young girl. I feel just as lost as when she became a toddler and then a preschooler.
What am I going to do with this kid? I mean, I just got the hang of that preschooler stuff and now we're moving on already? This feels so sudden to me even when it was staring at me right in the face. I know I still have two younger kids but I'm not ready to let go of my first baby.
I'm pretty sure she thinks I've gone slightly crazy by all the squeezing hugs and how I seem to randomly stare at her.
As always, I am starting a new adventure with my 1st born into another phase of life. Wish me luck and God help me!