The Truth About Parenting

I'd like to address a pet peeve of mine. Women who talk about parenting like it's the most natural, easiest, wonderful job in the world and every woman should do it.

Many would like you to believe that parenting is the most wonderful job a woman can ever have or that a woman's natural instincts make it easier. Well, maybe in la la land this is true and for women who's ideal job is working for needy person who on occasion yells, screams, and say they hate you. Oh, did I mention the pay and benefits? Well ... there is none. Nada. And if you want a day off, guess what? You have to pay someone else to cover for you.

Yes, there are many wonderful moments that a child can give you. If you are lucky to have a child who is naturally easy going then you will have many more with little effort. On the other hand with children with difficult personalities and strong wills; these moments will be a bit less until you get a hang of it and become a parenting pro.

Still, all the screams, tantrums, messes, and yelling they don't like you . . . oh yes, it will happen and it will hurt you more than anything else. But those smiles, laughs, kisses, I love yous, and cuddles make it all worth it. But still, you will have more days where you collapse on the bed exhausted.

So ladies, please! Don't fall into the trap of needing to explain how wonderful having children is to those with out kids. I know that there is tremendous pressure to look like the the perfect mommy but by not tell the hard ugly truth, we are doing a disservice to other women.

Instead, give them a reality check. They are expensive from before the time they're born to after they graduate high school. A good nights sleep will be a thing of the past and by the time that do start sleeping through the night they'll be waking up early to start school.

They are messy! And I don't mean college dorm room messy. I mean poop on the walls messy (if you're lucky their fascination with poop will be short).

Every heard of the terrible twos? Well it actually doesn't stop there. Studies have actually show that you can predict how a kid will be as a teenager by how they acted when they were two years old. Wonderful, right?

And privacy ... you'll eventually forget what even means.

So please ladies, the next time a women with no kids asks what it's like having kids . . . tell the truth. Because there is nothing easy about being a mother. It takes blood, sweat, and tears from start to finish; but in the end you can sit back and look at the amazing person created out of it all and know that they are truly a part of you and the love they have for you truly unquestionable.




Let's face it, it takes a strong woman to be a good mother and if you can't handle the worst of it, you'll never truly be able to enjoy the very best that comes from being a mother.





Sorry for this little rant but I just don't like it when some women act like having a kid is a cure all for anything and you are not complete with out one. No one likes to say it but some women should not have children. My own mother was one and I suffered greatly from it, I still am. I am glad that I am alive but considering how suicidal I used to be as a child because of my mother, it is rather surprising that I am actually still alive.

With so much poverty and child abuse going on we should be encouraging women to think twice about bringing a life into the world and encourage the use of birth control. Not every women is meant to be a mother just because she has a vagina. I'm all for family planning. Things such as the Plan B and The Pill should be widely accepted. It lowers the need for abortions and teen pregnancies.  It helps couples make sure that their ready. It helps women take control of their own life!

I know you ladies and gentlemen all love your kids, but be honest when someone asks about parenting. It's hard! And give them a question back too, 'Are you sure you're ready?'

Who's Child Is This?

Yesterday I really looked at my oldest daughter. I mean really looked. And what I saw was a long legged kid with a high pony tail and a thin face. All I could think was Is this really MY kid? When did this happen? Where was I? OMG I'm old!

To make matters worse she is starting 1st grade. At least when she was in kindergarten I fooled myself into thinking that it's not 'official' grade school since it doesn't have a number on it. (I was in severe denial)

My baby, my toddler, my preschooler is gone and all I have are pictures to remember her by. In replacement I have been given a young girl. I feel just as lost as when she became a toddler and then a preschooler.

What am I going to do with this kid? I mean, I just got the hang of that preschooler stuff and now we're moving on already? This feels so sudden to me even when it was staring at me right in the face. I know I still have two younger kids but I'm not ready to let go of my first baby.

I'm pretty sure she thinks I've gone slightly crazy by all the squeezing hugs and how I seem to randomly stare at her.

As always, I am starting a new adventure with my 1st born into another phase of life. Wish me luck and God help me!

WebMD Makes Me Think I'm A Doctor

One thing about me is that I am an overly paranoid person, really. I'm also a proud pessimist, I plan for the worst and fall short of being officially labeled as a doomsday prepper. (Too lazy to actually prepare). Have you seen that show on Nat Geo? Lots of amazing stuff on that show like did you now that my rubbing mineral oil on an egg it can help preserve it for up to 9 months. Ya, you never know when you need to know weird survival stuff like that.

Any hoo, back on subject. I should put a block on WebMD on my computer for my own safety. Using it seems to make my brain sudden think I actually got my M.D. Luckily for my self esteem I don't seem to be the only one according to many other bloggers.

A couple of weeks ago I was pretty much convinced that I had some kind of throat cancer. I started going through the stages of denile, acceptance, and planning at a rapid pace before my husband told me I was nuts and don't have cancer. Apparently he has a degree in medicine that I don't know about.

One side of my throat was completely swollen. I was constantly dehydrated from producing too much saliva and from having trouble swallowing because of the pain. Drool is not a good look for me apparently. None of the usual remedies helped even in slightest bit. Over the counter medication? Nope. Throat drops? Nope. Hot tea? Nope. Pain killers? Kinda. Gargling with salt water? Well I think that actually helped ... So .... IT MUST BE CANCER!

Sorry but I have an irrational fear of  getting cancer.

Apparently a viral infection and/or cist can have the same symptoms as throat cancer. It wasn't until it kinda popped (or de-swelled) that I figured that I was in the safety zone on it not being cancer. Maybe. So from now on I'll leave the diagnosing to the professionals. Maybe.




On a completely different note, here is another blog to read: Simply June

Depression & Addiction Hurts

I've decided not to go strictly follow the writing prompts for the February NaBloMo at the risk of over sharing and offending someone and embarrassing my self to the point I will have to live as a hermit forever. I didn't have the best childhood and most of my fond memories don't revolve around my family, even at a young age.

So instead I would like to make a confession of something that I am trying to get over. I have an addiction. An internet addiction. I'm still pretty bad but I used to be worse. I could spend all day on the computer or cellphone and time flys! My cellphone is like a drug that I must have. I literally feel naked with out my phone.  I actually feel nervous when I don't have it near me. It's like life in closing in on me and I can't breathe.

Pathetic I know.

But what made me realize is that it had taken so much time away from my family. I spent so much time surfing the net that at the end of the day I was at a rush to clean the house, especially on the weekends. So eventually I was either web browsing, writing, or taking care of my youngest child. This was starting to hurt my older two babies, 2 & 5 years olds. Not to mention my poor husband. And my dogs. And my yard. ... And my life.

This wasn't me. I wasn't the type of person who lets the house fall into pieces. Someone who does work half ass. Someone who doesn't take responsibility. I'm not my mother! I look like a wreak. My husband even made a comment about my appearance this morning. It hurt like hell but he was right. I was letting myself go. Then to add insult to injury he told me before he went to work that I had aged mentally. It didn't hit me until now what he meant exactly. I was boring in every sense of the word. I didn't goof around anymore. I wasn't witty or making sarcastic remarks.

Who am I?

The answer: Lost.

The addiction started because I felt trapped. Trapped by world filled with responsibility and child rearing. There was no balance in life for me. That's part of why I started this blog. I want to be happy. Writing what I want makes me happy. Depression hurts. I became addicted to the internet because I was depressed. Depressed because I didn't have the parents I wanted. That my husband has to work so hard. That I'm always too tired to keep up with my two older kids. That money is always tight.

So one day at a time I'm going to take back my life. I'm going to stop obsessing over the internet and face my depression head on instead of hiding.

So if you're in a funk like me, remember the things that made you smile.

Here's one that made me laugh last time I was in Las Vegas =)

On a related note, I wanted to recommend someone's post each day this month. I think it fits the theme of this post a bit:

Check out Buddish Thoughts: Just a Friendly Reminder from the Universe. It's a really nice post to read if your feeling overwhelmed or just having a bad day(s). This is what I needed to read to get me out of this small funk I'm in right now.