Oook so I'm joining the NaBloPoMo this year. Its kind of like the National Novel Writing Month challenge in November but for blogging. I'm still pretty new at this whole blogging stuff, I'm used to writing informative articles on various websites.
Even if you're not interested in joining check out their blog roll for something new to read. They already have a ton of people listed. I haven't had the chance to look through them yet but I'll give links here and there to any good posts I happen to read.
Today's writing prompt was "Tell us about your mother."
I had a hard time deciding if I should write anything on this subject since I was never close with my mother. When it came to my mother, I hated her. I've been able to let go of the hate but I still haven't let her back into my life. I've never been one to fall for the biological response to make amends, "I will always be your mother." It literally means nothing to me. I am now a mother of three and I still feel the same way. I don't want my kids to love me simply because they are related to me, I want them to love me because I was there for them.
As a gentle reminder to all parents out there and to myself, children will only truly love you if you love them back. I remember reading something that said that no one can truly hate their parents but mourn the loss of not having the one they really wanted. It's not an exact quote but it means that what we feel is a deep disappointment for never having the mother or father we wanted.
I was neglected as a child. It hurt me so deeply that I am still feeling the effects of it today. My general warning for all you readers today is to be careful of what advice you take and to take a step back. Step back and realize what your child might be feeling. If you are a parent and don't get along with one of your kids, don't wait to make amends because you might never get the chance.
Never ask them to "get over it," when they continue to cry. Don't ask for forgiveness, if it was forgivable it wouldn't be a problem. Accept the problem and work with fixing it. Don't try, do it. Don't say just say I love you, show them. Don't say you'll be there, do it. But most of all NEVER ask to start over. There is no starting over. Life is not a video game with a reset button. Mistakes will never go away or be forgotten. They will always hurt.